I'm a life-sucker. I don’t know who you are, or how you stumbled upon my page. But I know that you’re here reading my blog, which is good, I guess. My name is Paula and I have recently (17/05/10) moved to Adelaide from Singapore, where I spent most of my teenage years, and from the Philippines, born, raised, and lived there sixteen years of my life.

My name is Paula and it just amazes me how life changes in an instant. Some people who cared, some dreams and hopes you created; they were all here one moment then gone in the blink of an eye. Or, in this case, in about... seventeen days (and counting)? Yep.

My name is Paula and I wanna be in a place somewhere in the world where I might see someone like you. Or someone like one of my dearest friends in SG, Shasha. Or someone like the man that I love, but without a conflicted heart. My name is Paula and someday, someday, I'll be in that place somewhere in the world.

Let's exchange links, drop me a message! :)
Bea Boon Wee Cathie Elora Firah Kris Liz Max Michael Rui Hua

A friend of mine in SG asked me earlier today, "Are u missing someone here?? ha ha"

I’m not sure about the “ha ha” but yes, there’s someone in SG I’ve been missing. But that someone and I go days without having a meaningful conversation. And though it doesn’t seem like that someone misses me back, I never tried to stop missing that someone because deep inside, I know that I will never succeed.

I remember the first time we talked. That someone asked for my name and I turned straight into a puddle of.. uh never mind. We were sitting on the floor outside the Alley Bar with the rest of the PPC crew jamming and festively drinking Breda with everyone (and also there, I was just about to find out why they like Breda so much). That someone pulled out the guitar and played with heart, not hands. It was as if (as if!) that someone, with a john mayer voice by the way, was singing to me only. To me only. I felt something different for the first time. Once my heart was captured with that someone's mix of charm, intelligence, silliness, sense of humor, and romantic side. We never really labeled our relationship, but it was in some way fleeting, or perhaps some mere physical attraction we both couldn't ignore. There were a lot of things I wanted that someone to know like such a very special person that someone was to me. But I did not know how and though everything must change, life must change, I will never forget that someone.

I indeed miss that someone but life is just so cruel sometimes. We were both aware that fate would soon find us separated. It did and I think of that someone every stupid damn time, everyday, and always.

Lovelots,
Pau

so gudluck in ur life.. wish u all d best - Anonymous, Philippines, 2010-06-12 02:14:34 PDT

Thank you! You're awesome! Let's live long and prosper! ;)

Lovelots,
Pau

Hah! Okay, so this is another part of my self-improvement project. And hey, I’m serious! It’s different this time. God gave me another chance ok, and I’m taking baby steps back to game’s pinnacle. I wanna believe that I’m a completely different player than I ever was just a year ago.

So…as part of my project, I’ll be applying Paul Harrington’s book, “The Secret” my mother gave to me two years ago. Ok, yes, I have finally read it.

THE SECRET 101
“What do you want to do?” “What do you want to be?”

• I wanna become a mature person. I want to be smart enough. I know I am and I wanna be better. I wanna learn how to carry on a decent conversation with someone. I wanna be a good conversationalist. I wanna be good at writing. I wanna make sense of everything around me, of everything I do.

• I wanna be just like mom. She’s great. She’s proud of what she has achieved (career, being a mom, a cook, and everything); that kind of success she dreamed of for years. I wanna achieve that kind of success too. I know someday I will.

• I wanna believe in real love. I know that God is soon to arrange a meeting between me and Mr. Right, in His own time. You’ll see. :) 

• I wanna serve my family for the rest of my life. SOON I’ll be returning the kind of life my parents are giving me. They may not know it. I don’t show them a lot, but the gratitude I have for my parents is immeasurable. Deep inside my heart I’m so thankful for my life - I love it. One day I'm gonna make them oh so damn proud of me.

• Music is and forever will be part of my system. I'll be breaking out my shell one day. I wanna see myself, with full of confidence, excitement, inspiration, and happiness, singing and playing on stage with my acoustic guitar. Also, I wanna be part of some dance crew. I love dancing. A girl can dream, right? So, forget the I’m-Not-Good-Enough. I’ll SOON be forever dancing and singing my life to God, my family and loved ones, and to the rest of the world! No joke.

• I wanna buy a house. Big enough to fit my whole big family. Someday, okay.

• I wanna have my own business. I'm gonna have an acoustic bar in Australia or in Paris maybe. Someday!

Well, you know there is no harm in trying, honey. :)

THE SECRET 101 (Excerpts)
“What do you want to do?” “What do you want to be?”

Don’t know? Relax, those are pretty deep questions. But you know, the answer is probably sitting there right under your nose. All you have to do is be conscious of the things that really get you excited. Seriously. It’s more likely than not that what you want to do, and who you’re supposed to be, are all tied up with the stuff that fires you up right now. So …

Take out a notepad and write a list of all the stuff that you’re into, awesome stuff that takes your breath away and really makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.

No pressure; just write down anything that you love to do, or that you really look forward to. It could be school related, or things you do with friends. Maybe it’s stuff you do on your own. Or something you’ve always wanted to do. Whatever you can think of, just write it down.

Go ahead, do it right now.

… …

You didn’t do it, did you? I bet you figured, “Eh, I’ll do it some other time.” Well this is the time. This is your moment. This is your big opportunity to take a chance, to shine.

Truth is, most people just go with the flow; they stick with the flock. Well, that’s up to you. The choice is yours, to be a follower and get what’s given. Or you can step up and take what’s yours.

You’re into that? Okay, great, so write down a list of all the things that thrill you, that make you feel great. Go ahead. What have you got to lose?

To get your creative juices flowing, here are some random suggestions:

Acting
Animals
Art
Blogging
Business
Cars
Computers
Dancing
The environment
Fashion
Gaming
Health
History
Journalism
Motorbikes
Movies
Music
Politics
Science
Singing
Skateboarding
Sports
Surfing
Technology
Volunteering
Writing

If your passion isn’t here, no worries. Just be true to yourself and make out your list. To make it easier, picture yourself doing each one of the things you’re interested in. Imagine with all your senses – the sights, the sounds, the smells, the sensations – feel the buzz, feel the excitement. Which moments feel best?

Now cut the list down to your three absolute favorites. Be decisive; be strong.
Okay, done?

Go you! Because these three things are your purpose, your passion, and your motivation in life. And this is what life is all about.

Lovelots,
Pau

"Fine, you?"

Is it enough to say that? Or should I let you in and tell you more about myself? Seriously and honestly, how do you respond to people when they ask questions like that? I guess I don’t really like it when I'm being asked:

"How are you?"

"What's up?

"How's life?"

"How's it going over there?"

No, I don't hate it, but such questions make me ferociously uncomfortable. Sometimes.
I mean, do people really care how are you doing or what is up? Hmm, maybe.

Ok, somehow I’m a hypocrite because my friend’s “What’s up, curry puff?” has been my favourite! XD Haha. Oh well, I believe everyone’s been a bit hypocritical at some time or another. But hey, really, what’s the point of asking that when most of the time you get “Nothing much!” So yeah, maybe, next 3 times someone asks you “Wazzup?” you can blurt it and say, “The ceiling is up, dummy!”

Ayt, fine. I’ll stop babbling now and since I’m being asked a lot lately how I am doing since I left SG, I think maybe.. I really do have enough to say......................

Bleh! I’ll edit this laterrrr!

Ok, here we go, “How am I doing?” like really..

• I’m SO new to cold weather. It’s currently 15 F and I’m not sure if that is really all that cold, but I am really freezing. I’ll be dead again when it starts dropping another 5 degrees or so.

• And because I don’t wanna wake up a fat ass when spring comes, I’m maintaining my weight by doing regular exercise and jazzing it all up with some dance routine. It’s really fun! Plus I read somewhere that moderate dancing burns 250 to 300 calories an hour. So let's start burningggg some fats!



Later! ;)